dawning of a new day

Okay, so I have tried blogging before, but tonight I hope that this blog will hold me accountable. I have a goal, and that is to lose 30 pounds before I turn 30 years old.  I am going to be honest, raw, and document every moment. Starting with the dreaded before pictures that I took tonight. These are incredibly difficult for me to take, look at, and post, but it is a part of the process.
A little bit about me...
Weight has always been a control thing for me. In middle school I had a tough time with eating. My skinniest moment was my seventh grade class picture when I looked like an absolute skeleton. In high school, my weight never topped 113lbs.  I have always had hips, small boobs, and a tiny waist~my shape is like a coke bottle.
In college, I gained the freshmen 15lb, which I can admit, made me look healthy for once. In 2005, I gained up to 155 and immediately started myself on a 500 calorie a day diet and began doing palates in my apartment. I lost down to 135 again. After college my weight fluctuated between 140 and 150, depending on the time of the year. During the winter was my highest weight of the year.  But by spring and summer I would drop it back down. Until 2 years ago.
Two years ago, I was preparing for my wedding day. I began working out every day and it felt good. On wedding day I weighed 143. A weight that I am comfortable and happy with. 143 put me in a size 8 or 10. 143 was amazing. But with the wedding came comfortability. And soon I was at 150, 160, and now, only 1 year and 8 months later, I am weighing in at 171 pounds. The highest I have ever weighed.
What happened? I eat whatever I want, I do not exercise, and I feel miserable.
Yesterday, I ordered healthe trim. I am not one to try diet pills but I need that extra boost and these are all natural. So tonight, April 20th is Day 1 on the journey of losing thirty before thirty.  My 30th birthday is September 20, 2012. One year and 5 months to the day, I hope to be 141 pounds. It is here that I will document this journey. First things first, the before pictures. YUCK!

I look preggers! gross!

From behind

Full frontal

from the side

underarm fat- ewww

I started reading this book, stopped, and have been terrified to pick it back up. I am not going to be afraid any more. "Reshaping It All" by Candace Cameron.

My last binge tonight was 5 chocolate chip cookies warmed in the microwave with a glass of milk. I didn't even want them. I don't even like cookies that much. But they called out to me in the grocery store! If this is going to work I need some self control. 

So here I am, the good, the bad, the cottage cheese! I need your help, words of encouragement, and prayers! I cannot do this alone. Wish me luck!